Sometimes when I feel a bit burdened, I like to take inventory and tell a big secret. Taking inventory helps me to focus on something rational and tangible. Telling a secret helps me to lighten my mental load a bit. This morning, I took inventory in the kitchen. Number of bottles of condiments, sauces and marinades: 31, including 5 bottles of vanilla extract. You never know how crazy you are until you count your condiments.
Big secret: I don't like needles. Why is it a big secret? It's a secret because I always say/do things which indicate the opposite. I never flinch when, at the yearly check-up, it's time to do blood-work. I laugh it out - make jokes; talk about the weather. Need an insulin injection? I'm your man. Talk about over-compensation: This goes far beyond facing my fears. This is fear on a bun with relish. I guess I think that expressing irrational fears is self-indulgence. Like, "If I say I'm scared, then they won't make me do it." I say nothing so that others can have their own immense dislikes of needles and have someone reminding them that it's really not a big deal. Besides this, my list of irrational fears is long. Needles simply didn't make the cut.
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